How Can Self Esteem Help You Lose Weight – Think and Lose Weight Easily: Principle 10

How self esteem can affect your weight loss
How self esteem can affect your weight loss

How self esteem can help you lose weight is what Principle 10 is all about in our Think and Lose Weight Easily series. Last time we went over the mastermind. This time, it’s all about self esteem.

Related: What Is A Mastermind Group? – Think and Lose Weight Easily: Principle 9

If you’ve read the book, Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, you may be saying to yourself “Wait, that’s not the 10th principle…”

And you would be right, in a very literal way. Chapter 11 is titled The Mystery of Sex Transmutation, The 10th Step toward Riches.

There seems to be a consensus in the New-Age group that this chapter is either about physical sex or energy vibrations. No mention of self esteem, at all.

But, only after we get through all of the drama at the beginning of the chapter, Hill does actually talk at great length about how the emotion of love transmutes sex energy into a powerful force that can be harnessed.

And all of his own examples of men who have achieved greatness because of the love of a good woman, point to the results achieved through building self esteem and self worth.

He takes a long time to get there, and wanders into some odd places. So, it makes sense why this chapter is hard to understand.

Besides, the self-esteem movement didn’t even begin until 1969, when Nathanial Branden wrote “The Psychology of Self-Esteem”. So, maybe sex transmutation was what they called it in the 1930s.

(It is much easier to look backward through history to connect the existing dots than to be the creator of the dots. This is an example of standing on the shoulders of giants, if you’re curious.)

What Is Self Esteem?

Self esteem is your own accepted level of worth, that is generated only from within, but can often erroneously be based on external validation.

You have worth, determined by God, not by what is in your bank account, who you know, or how you look. Self worth comes only when you agree that this is true.

Ultimately, though, feeling like you belong and have a loving support system is what maintains your feelings of self esteem and self worth.

But this is a double edge sword, as tying your feelings of self esteem to belonging and relationships can cause your self esteem to increase or decrease based on the people around you.

You must tie your baseline of self worth first to the unwavering love from God, and then you can build your self esteem from that from belonging and relationship around you.

That way, the inevitable relationship fickleness of the people around you won’t affect your self esteem/self worth baseline.

How To Build Self Esteem

Self esteem is built by learning who you are, and then, accepting that person, flaws and all.

It seems so easy. But it takes work.

Because, though we are all born with worth, granted to us by our Almighty Creator, it is something we forget as we grow and experience competition and rejection.

Though, in reading the last nine principles, maybe you’ve caught a glimmer of self esteem.

A weight loss journey is absolutely a self-development journey. And the beginning of that journey is first knowing who you are. You are who you are, and that is a good thing.

Related: The “Secret” First Step No One Tells You About Weight Loss

How Can Self Esteem Help You Lose Weight?

Self Esteem can help you lose weight by influencing your decision making process, by increasing self-efficacy – the belief that you can actually DO the things you need to in order to achieve the goals you’ve set out to achieve.

What you think you are good enough to do, you will achieve.

Gordon Cochrane, EdD R Psych, created a research article in 2008 that lists out the steps for how to achieve weight loss through increasing self esteem.

I think it is a fantastic gem of knowledge, and solidifies that we are on the right path with focusing on self-care for weight loss.

When people perceive themselves as attractive or unattractive, intelligent or unintelligent, or adequate or inadequate, they live accordingly.

Gordon Cochrane, EdD R Psych,
Role for a sense of self-worth in weight loss treatments

The 4 Steps Of The Self-Esteem Diet For Weight Loss

  1. Transmute weight loss into self-care. Stop dieting, and just start taking care of yourself, instead.
  2. Learn your triggers, and pay attention to how you respond to them. Work on cutting out the comfort eating.
  3. Be kind to yourself when you mess up, and treat yourself like a student who is allowed to make mistakes in the learning process. Perfection is not a prerequisite to success, it is, in fact, a roadblock.
  4. Once you have started to build your self-esteem and self-worth, learn how to work out like an athlete.
    • Eat great foods: inexpensive, delicious, and full of nutrients for your body.
    • Exercise at an intensity level that pumps your heart and makes you sweat.

What Is Confidence?

Confidence, or self efficacy, is the level of trust one has in something, and is reliant upon expectation of ability.

What is the difference between self esteem and confidence?

Self esteem is not the same thing as confidence. Self esteem is internal, whereas confidence is external.

A confident person might have high or low self esteem. And, a person with high self esteem may have high or low confidence in their abilities. So, the level of a person’s self esteem is not dependent upon their confidence in themselves.

Why does it matter to make this distinction?

It is important to distinguish between self esteem and confidence, because the steps to build both are very different.

If you attempt to build self esteem by building confidence, you could actually damage your self esteem in the process. Take some time to understand how they are different so you can approach them for a better outcome.

How To Build Confidence

Confidence is built by proving you are capable at doing small things well in order to feel prepared to do bigger things, by first meeting the basic physiological needs, then use your small wins to fuel your big wins.

Using your earned knowledge and past wins is one way that self esteem and confidence can help you lose weight.

Only once I learned this seemingly obvious concept did my own life take off toward success. But I didn’t learn this until my thirties. So, for most of my life, it felt like I was always working really hard, yet never going anywhere.

I am now a confident person, who also has self esteem. I have built my confidence in my abilities slowly over many years, by first satisfying my basic physiological motivators.

Two Steps To Building Confidence

1. Meet Your Basic Physiological Motivators

Getting the basics down is essential for confidence building. In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (1943), the very bottom, first step is the physiological: air, water, clothes, food, shelter, sleep, warmth, and, yes… sex.

We categorize these basics as “Motivators”. If we are lacking in any of these things, we will move heaven and earth to meet these needs.

In this regard, Napoleon Hill was very correct when he said that sex energy can be transmuted into motivation for achievement.

Maslow and Hill both came to their findings through biographical analysis, meaning they studied the lives of the subjects to find the trends. So, Maslow actually lends credibility to Hill in this way.

Some of us seem to never be able to satisfy these needs enough to feel ready to move on to the next levels.

It is important to understand that we don’t need to hit a 100% fulfillment requirement for these needs. Just like how you don’t have to fill your stomach 100% of the way in order to feel full.

Meet the need to the extent your personal circumstances require. You are the only one who can say when that happens.

When you feel like your basic physiological needs are secure, you can take risks. Otherwise, you will be too insecure to try.

2. Use Your Small Wins To Fuel Your Big Wins

Way back in Principle 3, we talked about praising the RIDICULOUSLY small stuff in order to use the power of autosuggestion.

When you praise your small wins, you are setting the groundwork for making bigger wins.

Knowing that you have accomplished something in the past helps you to know that you can accomplish the unknown in the future.

Depending on how secure you feel in your small wins can determine how big of a risk you are willing to take. And this is why some people can take big leaps with big rewards.

How Can Confidence Help You Lose Weight?

Confidence can help you lose weight by giving you belief in your ability to follow your plan. Confidence can transmute into will power. The power to say no to that sugar craving. The power to go to the gym and do your exercise plan.

Self efficacy is the secret sauce to becoming self reliant. Self efficacy gives us the faith in ourselves to accomplish our goals.


Self esteem and confidence are the secrets behind transmuting sex energy into genius.

Work on increasing self-esteem and self-worth, and try following the Self-Esteem diet to jump start your weight loss.

Don’t forget the part about working out like an athlete, though. And if you need more on that subject, check out How To Work Out When You’re Morbidly Obese.

Happy Weight Loss <3


For most of my life I was overweight. In my 30s, I became morbidly obese, tipping the scales over 330 pounds. After trying and failing at every diet, I decided to get gastric bypass RNY weight loss surgery. Since 2016 I have been living a much healthier life, I hit my weight loss goals, but more importantly, understand weight loss now. I am determined to share what I now know.

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