How To Stop Failing At Weight Loss

How To Stop Failing At Weight Loss
How To Stop Failing At Weight Loss

It took me over 30 years to learn how to stop failing at weight loss. I even had weight loss surgery, Gastric Bypass Roux-En-Y, to help guarantee my success.

That’s when I learned that even with gastric bypass, I could still fail. I was terrified.

And from that terror came the best lesson I could ever learn: There is no guarantee of absolute, life-long success.

You can’t even expect guarantees from life-altering surgery, though. And you definitely cannot expect to ride the effects from that surgery happily ever after into the sunset.

There has to be intentional work toward weight loss. And that intentional work must happen every day until it becomes unintentional habit.

I’m sorry to say, it will likely take longer than 21 days. I want you to succeed at this, because I know how living in an uncomfortable body can negatively affect every other thing in life.

It feels like you’re in a prison. Your desire to get out of prison is this constant driver that fuels everything else.

All while you’re trying to meet work or school deadlines, maintain social groups, and adequately care for others. I know. I lived that life, too.

So, here’s what I’ve learned after losing the weight and maintaining the weight loss. I hope you use this to learn how to stop failing at weight loss, too.

1. Define Your Food Relationships To Stop Failing At Weight Loss

Define Your Relationship
Define Your Relationship

1.1 Learn about the 3 roles of food

  • The 3 roles of food are Fuel for the body, Accessories to celebrate special occasions, and Medication to soothe a pain (physical, emotional, or spiritual)
  • To learn more about these roles visit the post How To Change My Relationship With Food

1.2 Assign a role to everything you put into your mouth.

  • As a general rule, 70% of what we eat each day needs to be in the role of fueling or hydrating (plain water or flavored water). Then, 20% can be for celebration or motivation. Only 10% of what we eat each day should be to make us feel better.

1.3 Define and enforce boundaries around when you allow food to take each role in your day

  • Defining and enforcing the boundaries around your food roles may be the hardest part of the process. It requires that you stop, and think before you eat.
  • For those of us who eat on auto-pilot, this can be especially hard. You can do it, though!

2. Re-Program Your Brain To Stop Failing At Weight Loss

2.1 Decrease Your Portion Size

  • Your body doesn’t need as much food as you are providing.
  • You might think this section would be in the food part, but this is all about your brain. You’ve trained it to eat, and in massive proportions. Now, you have to re-program.

2.2 Identify The Difference Between Head Hunger And Actual Hunger

  • Head hunger is probably the biggest hurdle for you to cross to really stop failing at weight loss.

2.3 Learn how to satisfy head hunger without seeing a medical professional

3. Learn How To Fuel Your Body To Stop Failing At Weight Loss

Fuel Your Body

3.1 Protein is Literally In “First-Place”

The word protein comes from the Greek word “proteios” for first place, or primary. So, use that as your guide and make it the star of every dish. But protein isn’t just meat. Actually, it can be found in many, many different vegetables. You know, vegetarians need their protein, too.

What are proteins:

  • Lean Cuts of Meat: pork, lamb, beef, deer, elk, etc.
  • Poultry – chicken, turkey, guinea fowl, duck
  • Fish – Tuna, tilapia, salmon
  • Eggs – eggs whites or the whole egg
  • Dairy – milk, Greek yogurt, cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream
  • Seeds and Nuts – sunflower seeds, almonds, pine nuts, etc.
  • beans and legumes – peas are in the legume family, and are a high source. Black beans and refried beans are great!

3.2 Complex Carbohydrates Are The Supporting Characters in the Show

What are complex carbohydrates:

  • whole grains
  • fruits
  • vegetables
  • beans
  • legumes (peas, peanuts, lentils, etc.)
    • Beans and legumes are found in both protein and complex carbs! What an amazing food!

3.3 Only Cook With Fats

Easy Rules for Losing Weight With Fats

  1. Prepare your own food using these Omega-6 foods: walnuts, safflower oil, tofu, hemp seeds, sunflower seeds, peanut butter, avocado oil, eggs, almonds, cashews,
  2. Always cook with a generous helping of olive oil and a small pat of REAL butter. The butter will enhance the olive oil flavor, and elevate the taste of your meals.
  3. Create complete meals: large amount of protein prepared in that oil & butter, with smaller amount of complex carbs
  • Learn more about how to get the most out of your nutrition by reading How To Fuel Your Body To Lose Weight.

4. Learn How To Move Your Body To Stop Failing At Weight Loss

4.1 Accept Your Newbie Status

  • Whatever you choose to do, you’ll likely be pretty bad at it. Unless, you’ve spent years doing the movements prior. Then, do not discount how fast you’ll fly through newbie status toward the place where you left off.
  • Allow for failure. Allow for the awkward phase. It’s necessary, though uncomfortable.

4.2 Find “Your Thing” That You Love

  • You’ll have to try, and fail, at a couple of things before you land on the thing you actually love doing. But this part is so important. Check out the post The Best Detox Diet For Weight Loss You’ll Ever Do to get the scientific reasons why.
  • Find the thing that fits your body type. Working out under 250 pounds is different than working out over 250 pounds, and especially over the 300 pound mark. Check out the post How To Work Out When You’re Morbidly Obese to get some specifics on how to work out at that weight.

4.3 DO Your Thing

  • You can’t just buy the gear and let it gather dust in the corner. See, you actually have to use the stuff in order to get the results.
  • And, you have to use the stuff CONSISTENTLY. Even if that’s only for 15 minutes a day. You have to show up, and put in the effort. Sweating may occur. Uncomfortableness may occur. It’s the path towards weight loss.

Get To It!

So, you’ve now got a great guide here to get started in your weight loss. Check out the other links listed to get more in-depth information.

Then, the most important thing is to get started.

Just pick one thing and start there. Whatever it is, just start.

And if you make a 1% change for the better today, and keep at it for a year, you’ll have an unstoppable compounding effect in your favor. As long as you keep trying.

As always, happy weight loss <3


For most of my life I was overweight. In my 30s, I became morbidly obese, tipping the scales over 330 pounds. After trying and failing at every diet, I decided to get gastric bypass RNY weight loss surgery. Since 2016 I have been living a much healthier life, I hit my weight loss goals, but more importantly, understand weight loss now. I am determined to share what I now know.

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